Before you fill anything in
A template only helps if you bring real material to it. Spend ten minutes answering these out loud before you write a single word — whatever memory comes fastest is almost always your best one.
- What did your friend once pull you into that you would never have done on your own?
- What small, ordinary thing does your friend do that everybody here would recognise the second you name it?
- When did you first see your friend with their partner, and what exactly did you notice?
- What is the thing about this friendship you would find slightly embarrassing to say out loud? That is usually the line worth keeping.
The template
Section 1 — The hook (about 45 words)
Open inside a moment. Do not introduce yourself first, and do not announce that you are the friend. Drop a real thing your friend said or did, then arrive with your name plainly — no claim to knowing them longest or best.
Hook — fill in
About 45 words · 20 seconds
[A THING YOUR FRIEND ACTUALLY SAID OR DID, dropped in with no setup at all.] ____________________
Then, and only then: I'm [YOUR NAME], and [ONE PLAIN PHRASE ABOUT BEING THEIR FRIEND — true, not competitive].
Section 2 — The one story (about 140 words)
You only need one. Pick the story where your friend was most completely themselves, and cut the setup harder than feels comfortable. Tell it in the present tense if you can — it keeps the room with you.
The story — fill in
About 140 words · 55 seconds
[THE STORY — one time your friend was unmistakably themselves.] ____________________
[THE DETAIL THAT MAKES IT LAND — an exact number, an object, a line they said.] ____________________
[WHAT IT QUIETLY SAYS ABOUT THEM.] And that is [NAME] all over — they will ____________________, every single time.
Section 3 — Making room for the partner (about 100 words)
This is the section that turns a nice story into a wedding speech, and it is the one a friend must never skip. Turn to the partner, by name, and welcome them in — with a moment you watched, not a compliment. End it by making clear the marriage adds a person rather than taking your friend away.
The turn to the partner — fill in
About 100 words · 45 seconds
[PARTNER'S NAME] — [THE FIRST TIME YOU SAW THEM TOGETHER, OR ONE SPECIFIC THING YOU HAVE WATCHED THE PARTNER DO.] ____________________
And I remember thinking ____________________.
So I'm not losing anyone today. I'm watching [NAME]'s favourite people become one more, and I could not be happier about it.
Section 4 — The sincere close (about 55 words)
No jokes past this point. Say the thing you would find slightly embarrassing — that is reliably the right line — and deliver it about a third slower than everything before it.
The close — fill in
About 55 words · 30 seconds
[NAME], you have been ____________________ to me, and ____________________.
[ONE LINE ABOUT WHO YOU HOPE THE TWO OF THEM WILL BE TOGETHER.] ____________________
Section 5 — The toast (about 25 words)
The toast — fill in
About 25 words · 15 seconds
Everyone, please raise your glasses — to [NAME] and [PARTNER'S NAME].
(Wait for the room to actually lift their glasses before you say the names. It takes about three seconds longer than you expect. Do not add anything after the names.)
A note before you stand up
- Read the whole thing out loud with a timer, standing up. Filled at these counts it runs about 365 words, or two and a half minutes — a good length for a friend.
- If several people are speaking, cut the close to two lines rather than dropping the turn to the partner.
- Check that section three names the partner and welcomes them. This is the section friends most often rush.
- Keep it to inside moments the whole room can follow — skip anything only your friend group would get.
- Print it large on a single card, then say it out loud a couple more times across different days.