The template
Section 1 — Open on the room (about 45 words)
Opening — fill in
About 45 words · 20 seconds
[ONE HONEST LINE ABOUT WHAT TODAY LOOKS LIKE FROM WHERE YOU ARE STANDING, OR ONE SELF-DEPRECATING LINE.] ____________________
Section 2 — The thank-yous (about 200 words, 90 seconds MAXIMUM)
Four units, each with one specific detail. Name three or four individuals at most — everyone else you can thank in person tonight, which is more meaningful anyway.
Thanks — fill in
About 200 words · 90 seconds
Thank you all for being here — [ONE SPECIFIC DETAIL: who travelled furthest, who did something unusual to get here].
To [PARTNER]'s parents, [NAME] and [NAME] — thank you for [SOMETHING REAL THAT HAPPENED, NOT A FORMULA].
To my mum and dad — [ONE SENTENCE ABOUT WHAT YOU LEARNED FROM THEM].
To our wedding party — [ONE COLLECTIVE LINE], and particular thanks to [NAME], who [SPECIFIC], and [NAME], who [SPECIFIC].
Section 3 — The turn (about 15 words)
One short sentence that tells the room the speech is changing. Put your notes down here if you can.
The turn — fill in
About 15 words · 10 seconds
Right. [PARTNER'S NAME].
or
And now the part I have been putting off.
Section 4 — Speaking to your partner (about 240 words)
Second person throughout. Two things that actually happened, not a list of qualities.
To your partner — fill in
About 240 words · 100 seconds
[HOW LONG] ago, you [SOMETHING SPECIFIC THEY SAID OR DID EARLY ON]. ____________________
Before I met you I ____________________. [WHAT YOUR LIFE LOOKED LIKE — small, concrete, slightly unflattering.]
[WHAT THEY DO THAT YOU DO NOT.] You do not ____________________. That is the thing about you.
[THE SENTENCE YOU WOULD FIND SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSING TO SAY.] ____________________
Section 5 — The promise (about 60 words)
One concrete thing, not already in your vows. Slightly small is better than grand — specific enough to actually be kept.
The promise — fill in
About 60 words · 30 seconds
Here is my promise, in front of everybody. I will ____________________.
[WHY IT IS THE ONE YOU WILL HAVE TO WORK AT.] ____________________
Section 6 — The toast (about 20 words)
Toast — fill in
About 20 words · 15 seconds
Everyone — please raise your glasses. To my [WIFE / HUSBAND / PARTNER], [NAME].
The check that matters most
Time section two with a stopwatch. If it runs past ninety seconds, cut names rather than words — the fix is always fewer people mentioned individually, never faster delivery.
- No jokes at your partner's expense, not even affectionate ones.
- No "happy wife, happy life" or any variant.
- No jokes about losing your freedom.
- Nothing about the budget or who paid.
- If your partner is also speaking, agree who thanks whom and do not use the same story.